Recently I found a blog I enjoy very much: Northwest Notes. The author of this blog artfully writes about the Greater Seattle Area, which brings back many memories for me and also kindles my desire to move back up there. Tulips, dogwoods, biking on lonely roads, the ache for the short spring and summer, then the endurance of a long rainy season. I miss it.
Month: April 2004
Blissfully peaceful morning this morning. Neither of us had to set the alarm to get up for anything, which was very nice for a change. And we woke up to rain! We decided to have breakfast out this morning so donned our raingear and walked down to Chatsworth Deli. They serve the best breakfasts around here.
In a few minutes we’ll leave for an equine awareness event, sponsored by a Chatsworth community group and held at PepperTree Ranch. Rain only comes occasionally so hopefully that won’t prevent people from coming.
I’m more and more interested in the sport of eventing but recognize that I have some work to do before I can gallop a cross country jumping course. The first thing would be to get my jumping position in the arena solid. So I keep on keeping on with my current wonderful trainer. When I asked her about showing, she said I could enter in some shows this summer. I do, however, need to purchase the proper clothing. Unfortunately some of the major pieces cost about $200 a piece. I will be aquiring the pieces monthly. Then saving up for show/trainer/stall/groom/hauling fees. Perhaps my first show will be in August or September. After I get a few safe and sane hunter/jumper show under my belt, perhaps I can investigate eventing further. Then there’s the matter of acquiring the appropriate outfits two additional events: dressage and cross-country. In the meantime perhaps I can volunteer at a horse trial to get to know some people and see what goes on there first hand. Maybe it’s not as insane as I think.
For the last two years I have walked nearly the same route for all my evening walks. And nearly every time I have walked this route, I pass a very tall, older Asian man. Yesterday, just prior to encountering him on the sidewalk I debated whether I would yet again make the effort to say ‘hello’, as is my habit whenever I encounter anyone on my walks. After feeling rebuffed countless times, I thought perhaps he just didn’t want any of my friendliness and I would just pass quietly by. But then he lifted his head as he passed and said ‘hi’. Well, knock me over with a feather. Was he reading my mind?
I have felt like I’m neglecting my blog lately. I just don’t have very much to say. Er, complain about I guess. I’ve been happily settling into my spring quarter routine: surviving the commute in the morning, working hard all day, surviving the commute home again, either taking a walk or riding Goldie, making dinner, relaxing, then going to bed. Nothing to comment on (as if I don’t have any other thoughts!). Even my weekends have been full, which is relatively new. I go to horseshows, go roping, go to church, do something with Dave, take longer walks, then suddenly it’s Monday again.
Last Thursday I thought I would take a lesson from an eventing trainer. Eventing is often referred to as the triathlon of equestrian events as it requires skills in three different disciplines: dressage, cross country, and show jumping. I am interested in all three disciplines but not necessarily the speed requirement that comes with the latter two disciplines. Further, cross country courses can be rather dangerous because the jumps are solid i.e. if a horse doesn’t jump correctly something very bad could happen because the jumps don’t collapse as they do in the show hunter and jumper rings. This is starting to change because people and horses are horribly injured or even killed. I don’t think I’ll seriously try it until more courses have breakaway jumps. My ideal three-day event would include dressage, a liesurely gallop over a cross country course with break away jumps, and a hunter event in the ring. The major differences from my ideal versus what eventing is really about are style versus speed and safety versus idiocy. Hmm….. this gives me ideas for the farm I will have someday.
Speaking of farms, I applied for a fisheries biologist job in Seattle the other day. I doubt I’ll get it because 1) I’m not a fisheries biologist (but I have some field science and research skills) and 2) the vacancy is only open for four days, which usually means they have someone in mind. Still, I wanted to see if I’ll make the short list. When I told my wonderful spouse that I was applying for this job, he nearly had a conniption fit. He sputtered that he wasn’t ready to move yet and that he wanted a couple more years here. I don’t think we are moving yet and I’ve been talking about moving for a couple years already, which made me wonder whether he really was listening all those times I jabbered on about moving. Yet the reason why he is so wonderful is that he would not deny me the opportunity if I did get this job. And after he got over his initial surprise (prodded by my demanding where the heck he had been during all those ‘I wanna move to Seattle’ conversations) he agreed to start thinking about moving. He did, however, suggest, that we might move somewhere other than Seattle. Like the eastern seaboard or the midwest, say Minneapolis. There are many advantages to this idea, specifically that my 10-acre farm might be a lot cheaper in those places than anywhere within commuting distance of Seattle. Other advantages include real seasons, which I miss living in SoCal (here’s where I admit I’m getting kind of used to the weather here in SoCal — ask me if I like it in July though). Another advantage is that if we sold our house here in SoCal and bought 10 acres in the midwest, would I even have to think about working? I’d definitely be willing to consider that notion, although undoutedly I would have to do something to support my horse habit and to start the Corrina Marote Safe and Sane Three-Day Eventing Association. All proceeds would go to my favorite charities i.e. The Nature Conservancy and the North American Riding for the Handicapped Association.
How do you like that?
I had a wonderful Easter, although I kind of set myself up not to. I knew I was going to have to get up early to get a seat in church and that stressed me out. Certainly all 4000 members of All Saints showed up today. There were 3 services. I don’t know how full the 7:30 service was but the 9:00 a.m. service was packed plus there were 250 people in the overflow room. I arrived a little after 8:00 and had to park much further away than I normall would. Briefly I considered turning around and driving home. Fortunately I followed a minivan that was also looking for a spot. There were two empty spots next to each other about a block away.
At the church, circular were already forming to get into the 9:00 a.m. service. When we finally got to go in, the sanctuary was nearly full already. How could that be? We were still 30 minutes from service? I did find a seat, squeezed between two couples, near the front. The people with families were having a tough time to find enough space for all of the family members. Undoubtedly the clergy staff was excited about all the parishioners but I found it rather stressful. Still, the joyous service was a relief from the doldrums and heaviness of Lent and Palm Sunday.
Why did Christ have to die? I read an article recently in Time magazine that did not answer the question but I think I’ve come to my own conclusion: Christ did not die only for forgiveness of our sins but perhaps also, maybe more importantly (?), to conquer death. Of course Christ had to die for that. I’m content with this answer for now. Maybe it’s a simplistic answer but I’m a simplistic person who has recently returned to religion.
The sermon was good, as usual but a few things struck home. Pastor (Father? — I’m new to being an Episcopalian) Bacon spoke about the war on terrorism and what if we lost that war (this was not a pro-President Bush sermon by any means)? Our children would grow up with fear and only fear, divisiveness, and tribalism (not that President Bush doesn’t promote some of this himself, but that’s for another time). One of the reasons I returned to church was because I got tired of fear. I wanted to have more than fear. I wanted love and hope. Religion provides that. It doesn’t take terrorism to raise the hackles of nearly everyone all the time. When I was growing up, it was the fear of nuclear war. I was born during the Vietnam War, then there was the Cold War, and now terrorism. Fear has been with us for a long time, even longer than I have been alive, I am sure but would have to verify with those older than me. I have known fear my whole life. At All Saints I find love and hope. This is how I want to live my life and the legacy I want to leave. This is the purpose (or should be) of religion.
It’s a good thing I read other people’s blogs, otherwise I probably wouldn’t post in my own. I really enjoyed Loretta’s 49 Truths so am going to model this post after it:
1. I always think of myself as old, no matter how young I am.
2. When I was 25, I thought I was old.
3. If I had realized that I feel as good at 37 as I did at 25, I wouldn’t have thought I was old.
4. I hope to feel this good when I’m 55 (or older).
5. I don’t always enjoy cooking.
6. I enjoy eating my own cooking.
7. I’m not sure I enjoy being a graduate student.
8. I’m starting to like my schedule as a graduate student.
9. I have always always been crazy about horses.
10. Between 1991 and 2001, I thought I had outgrown horse-craziness.
11. In 2003 I knew for certain that I hadn’t.
12. I have a hard time committing to any one thing.
13. But I am passionate about many things.
14. I don’t consume caffeine any more.
15. I constantly worry about the health of my heart.
16. I like certain kinds of exercise.
17. I prefer movement over thinking.
18. But I love to read.
19. Sometimes I like to write.
20. I like to be outside at least for a little while every day.
21. I get cabin fever easily.
22. I enjoy driving on curvy country roads.
23. I miss those in LA.
24. I miss enjoying to drive.
25. I like the rain.
26. Except when it interferes with my horseback riding.
27. I worry about money a little.
28. I make less money now than ever but I’m having more fun.
29. I’ve always thought I was overweight.
30. I’m not really, even if I don’t look like a supermodel.
31. I like the idea of gardening.
32. But I don’t really like to do it.
33. I love to eat fresh, organic produce.
34. Reptiles startle me.
35. Spiders don’t.
36. I love cats.
37. I’m tolerant of dogs.
38. I always say my favorite color is blue.
39. But I tend to wear purple.
40. If I was all-powerful I would invent stylish, comfortable women’s shoes.
41. I have no fashion sense.
42. I am uncoordinated in house decorating and gardening (see #’s 31 and 32)
43. Chocolate is not my favorite dessert.
44. I love red wine, good martinis and margaritas.
45. I do not like rum.
46. I don’t mind cleaning the house.
47. I do not like mowing the lawn.
48. I like grooming horses.
49. I don’t dye my hair (any more).
50. I’m less critical of myself these days.
Since I normally spell out the month, someone had to point out that today is a rare day indeed: 04-04-04. I do not particularly remember 03-03-03, 02-02-02, or even 01-01-01. I can say what I was probably doing on any of those days though. On 01-01-01, I was probably freaking out about our wedding, which would’ve been five days away. Well, maybe I wasn’t freaking yet. I saved that for the night before. On 02-02-02 I was still working for the park service but had already applied to grad school at UCLA and probably had been accepted by then. On 03-03-03, it would’ve been around mid-terms winter quarter. I would’ve been thinking about going on the 5 1/2 week research cruise in the western equatorial Atlantic in mid-April. At that time I don’t think I was doubting graduate school yet.
I’m not sure why I feel it’s important to mark those particular dates, especialy since I probably wasn’t doing anything important or even extraordinary. However, 04-04-04 is Palm Sunday if you’re a Christian. I’m a semi-regular attendee to All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena. For the first time in my life Palm Sunday has had a profound impact on me emotionally. When I was a kid going to the Lutheran Church, Palm Sunday was just another Sunday, except that we waved palm fronds around to symbolically honor Jesus as he rode a donkey in some kind of procession. I understood that he was to be crucified but I did not understand the profound sadness of the event.
Today for the first time I understood. There was a little skit acted out at the front of the church, where Jesus was put on trial, Pontius Pilate said there was no crime, the people demanded Jesus’ crucifixion, Paul denied Jesus three times before the cock crowed, etc. The congregation was to shout “Crucify him” in the way that the crowd must’ve back then. The purpose was not to reinforce the evil of anti-Semitism but to remind ourselves that we were one of the crowd and how inconsistent we can be: we turn our backs on what we supported just a little while ago.
I could only manage one squeaky “Crucify him”, even though I wanted to participate in this ritual because it is deeply meaningful. Most of the congregation and choir managed, judging by the decibel of shouting. I wanted to understand this ritual better but my heart was breaking. The woman sitting next to me shed a few tears. I swallowed mine with a hard lump.
The sermon was about the connection of the crucifixion with forgiveness of our sins, an angry vs. loving God. I was confused about it because in my Lutheran upbringing I learned that Jesus died for our sins and that was that. However, Pastor Bacon preaches that we need to view the crucifixion beyond the forgiveness of our sins because focusing on this aspect makes God seem like an angry, vengeful God rather than a loving one who “showers rain and sun on the good and bad alike”. Pastor Bacon says the crucifixion should be a thanksgiving.
I can buy all that, sort of, but I cannot get my head around it yet. My heart is in it and I prefer the interpretation that God is all-loving rather than wrathful and constantly judging, which is the message I came away with when I was growing up. For once, for a change, I’m willing to follow my heart and let my head catch up. Up until now I have always followed my head and my heart has suffered. I’m turning around and going in the heart/love direction.
Our trip to Catalina Island was fabulous. We spent the first night in Long Beach so we wouldn’t have to get up terrifically early on Sunday morning to catch the boat. Long Beach is great. We arrived early enough so we had time to ride our bikes along the extensive, beachside bike path, have a drink in the hotel bar then enjoy a nice dinner.
The following morning we boarded the Catalina Explorer, one of the several daily boat services to Catalina Island. However, I would recommend taking the Catalina Express (the website has a nice view of the casino in Avalon). The ticketing process with the Catalina Explorer is painfully slow, the restrooms on the boat were out of order, and the Catalina Express boat passed us even though we had left port earlier. However, both are catamarans, which give the most stable ride, reducing seasickness.
The other thing that went wrong (besides my forgetting the camera, any camera) was that our hotel wasn’t that great. It was okay but we could’ve done better. We stayed at the Best Western. It’s away from the main restaurant district and their own restaurant was closed. Anytime we wanted anything we had to walk to town. They do offer frequent free shuttle service to town but we walked. The way back required climbing a long steep hill, which was tiresome after a while, although undoubtedly good for us. A better choice of lodging might be the Pavilion Lodge (nice view of the beach in this website).
Despite some of these minor problems we managed to have a great time. We rode our bikes ($10 fee each to bring over on the boat) around, went on a trail ride, toured the casino, ate very well, walked around a lot, looked at the water, bought a couple souveniers, and generally relaxed. We were surprised at the quality of food we had. We both thought that a resort town could get away with serving marginal food but every meal we had was quite good. Some of our favorites were Steve’s Steakhouse, the Pancake Cottage, and this place I’m forgetting the name of where we had lunch twice. By the way, the casino is NOT a gambling establishment. It never was The name is derived from the Italian word meaning “gathering place”. Some visitors are so disappointed when they find out that there are no slot machines and they feel completely mislead. As if there couldn’t possibly be more than one definition of the word casino.
The island is fabulous and we’ll definitely go in the off-season again.