Month: July 2004

Today is the last day of my least favorite day of the month in SoCal. This July, however, hasn’t been as awful as past July’s have been. For the first two weeks, we had a marine layer which tempered the heat quite a bit. We didn’t even have to start running the a/c until about two and a half weeks ago. Next month, it’ll still be hot or potentially so but the shadows will be longer. That makes August better than July in SoCal.

I fell off Goldie during my riding lesson this morning. Goldie jumped long; I didn’t have my heels down but was pinching with my knee. Bad rider! Pretty much landed on the back of my head. Heard my helmet crack. My glasses were askew. Got sand down my pants. I wasn’t hurt badly but my neck is sore. After that I rode the jumps better. My new mantra is to let my heels go over the jump before any other part of my body. When I do that, my lower leg is rock solid. I don’t over jump the horse. It’s a good lesson to learn even if it’s not very much fun to land in the dirt once in a while.

A woman from Spokane was killed at a horse trials in Spokane earlier in the week. She was a very experienced rider. Her horse was galloping along the flat and tripped, fell on the rider who never regained consciousness. That has been on the back of my mind. It can happen to anyone at any time. It’s not the beginners who are killed while riding. Most falls are minor but once in a while riders end up in a body cast or worse. Same with car accidents I suppose.

Amen, Loretta, amen. Your post has a melancholy ring that I’ve been feeling myself for a couple days. Oppressed. I’m oppressed by the weather, by the limits I have on my riding because it’s too hot during the convenient times of the day and/or the only arena is too full. Oppressed by all the work I have to do between now and mid-December so I can pack up and leave SoCal for good. Actually the work is good. I can do it in increments and see that it gets done. That is satisfying progress. That the summer is only progessing to more and more hot for a while is not satisfying at all. I get the most depressed and feel anguished this time of year in SoCal.

Like Loretta I’ve come to realize that I can only do what I can do. I’m not brilliant; I’m not a great writer nor am I great rider with high aspirations to compete at money-level competitions. I’m justing doing what I do with the time and energy that I have. Some days that is very satisfying and some days it’s simply not enough. Except it has to be because it’s all I have.

I have been so remiss in posting. After I finished my term paper from last quarter, I felt like collapsing but no had to muster the energy to prepare for Summer Session A. Needless to say there were a few crying jags, temper tantrums, and other unseemly but appropriate behavior, given how tired I was. Fortunately toward the end of the week that was supposed to be summer break, my energy level and enthusiasm picked up.

The class I’m TA’ing is an introductory course to marine bio. It’s right up my alley but it takes tons of prep work. The poor kids think I’m working them too hard but they have no idea what I’m doing to give them a positive and informative learning experience. Fortunately I’m sleeping through the night again…

All this teaching is cutting into my riding schedule. I’ve been riding the school marm Sophie lately for my lessons. Goldie and I still trot around the arena in the evenings but Sophie has been taking me over the jumps. This morning we had an endless series, where Barbara commanded me to canter then told me which jumps to jump just before I got there. The roll top, which is wide, was giving me trouble. Sophie jumped it too long because I wasn’t holding her long enough. I forgot to grab mane going over. Too busy thinking about holding her back, keeping my heels down instead of pinching with my knees and making sure I didn’t look down going over the jump. And what? I’m supposed to do yet one more thing? Too much. I finally got it after the umpteenth time. Poor Sophie was blowing and foaming. My mouth was so dry my tongue didn’t want to stay behind my teeth. Yes, it’s July in SoCal and getting hot.

We have been fortunate to have experienced an extended marine layer season so the temperature has been quite moderate for this time of year. For a moment, when I’d lost my mind, I thought I actually might miss this place when we move. Oh no no no no no! I can’t wait to move! Have to finish my degree first. Or at the very minimum finish two more units and my research. I can take the remaining units from another accredited university. I checked on this because I’ve been applying for jobs in Seattle like crazy. If I got a job, we’d move and I’d worry about finishing my master’s degree later. Take a class at a time. Analyze my data and write. There’s always the danger that I’d abandon my degree but it’s a chance I’m willing to take. It would make more sense if I just stayed here to finish then graduated in 49 more weeks. My head knows that but my heart wants to move and get really settled for a change then finish whatever I need to finish. I’m listening and paying attention for a change. For a happier change I think. My head tends to invite a stressful lifestyle. Who needs it, my heart asks. My heart is right.