My last post was July 2020, about a month or so before I lost my beloved Jodee dog, on August 30, 2020. She was just a couple months shy of her 15th birthday. The loss was so profound that I had no words, just a persistent ache and a lot of questions about whether I waited too long to assist her out of her suffering. The last 18 months of her life were difficult for her, painful for me to watch, expensive and time consuming. The latter two are the least important. I know that I waited one day too long but the decision to assist a beloved pet out of suffering is extremely personal and situational. Jodee always had a lot of try and I did my best to honor that while alleviating her pain as much as possible. I suppose I should've known when the vet told me that CBD oil was the only thing left to ease her arthritis and nerve degeneration pain that it was time for me to plan for her exit. I have no idea how the tumor in her abdomen felt but toward the end she was getting nauseous at meals times. To the point where she'd leave her meal unfinished. I knew the time was getting close then because eating was the single-most important thing in her life. I wanted her to tell me when she was ready and maybe she was but she'd also tell me that she was interested in bunnies and fascinating smells. At the time I probably thought there was more left of her life than what there actually was. I hope I don't make that mistake again, of waiting too long, but I probably will because animals show profound joy in life and I have to wonder if the last hours of agony are the best trade-off for the moments of joy beforehand. Perhaps so. I hope to know that answer someday so that I can make better decisions on their behalf.
On what would've been Jodee's 15th birthday (best guess as she was a pound hound puppy), we adopted two kittens. Kittens that brought joy and laughter into the house after too much sadness and the weight of the dark and wet time of year. Today is the six month mark of their adoption. We think they were born in mid-July (again, adoption from a shelter). Harley and Herbert are two little black stinkers who surprise and amuse us every day.
The horses: Odin suffered a deep hoof abscess and is still recovering, although he gallops around the pasture with his best friend Bragi when I let them out together. Bragi is an opportunist and when Odin was suffering greatly, he used the time to practice establishing his leadership. I separated them so that I could treat Odin's hoof and increase the possibility of the dressing staying on. Now that I'm allowing them out together again, Odin isn't putting up with Bragi's attempted bossiness but Bragi is a colossal pest so I still separate them except for pasture time.
Odin and I are still working on feeling comfortable in the trailer. He gets in just fine but staying in is hard for him. So we practice hanging out. Since his abscess is still resolving we do more groundwork than anything and are trying to work on lateral moves. He's getting them.
Bragi and I are working on leading. He's a very forward horse, which is good but I prefer that he stays out of my personal bubble. We've been working on leading, focusing on me, stopping when asked, and backing up. The goal is for him to think about backing up a step or two when we stop. So far his stopping consists of taking a step forward after I stop but at least he's backing up with a soft ask.
This summer I'm hoping to get out and try some things with Odin, maybe a cavaletti clinic, introduce him to cattle to see if he has an inclination to boss them around, and get out on the trails with some girlfriends and their horses. Maybe I'll introduce Bragi to trailer loading. He did it before with his TIP trainer and obviously arrived here in a trailer. I also hope to update this blog more frequently, now that I have words again. Speaking of words, I've had a story brewing in my head for a very long time. Maybe I'll try it out here. Stay tuned!