I just found out where this concession speech came from: http://www.felbers.net/mt/archives/000945.html
Blame the following post on post-election blues. I did not author this nor do I know who did. Furthermore, this is an unauthorized copy but a friend of a friend found it on the Internet, so it’s out there. Undoubtedly I’ll get flamed for posting this because parts of it are harsh. My favorite part, however, is the suggestion and the reasons why the blue states should secede from the red states. Flame away:
>"I concede that I overestimated the intelligence of the American
people.
>Though the people disagree with the President on almost every issue,
you
>saw fit to vote for him. I never saw that coming. That’s really
>special. And I mean "special" in the sense that we use it to describe
>those kids who ride the short school bus and find ways to
>
>injure themselves while eating pudding with rubber spoons. That kind
of
>special.
>
>
>
>I concede that I misjudged the power of hate. That’s pretty powerful
>stuff, and I didn’t see it.
>
>
>
>So let me take a moment to congratulate the President’s strategists:
>Putting the gay marriage amendments on the ballot in various swing
>states like Ohio… well, that was just genius. Genius. It got
people,
>a certain kind of people, to the polls.
>
>
>
>The unprecedented number of folks who showed up and cited "moral
Values"
>as their biggest issue, those people changed history. The folks who
>consider same sex marriage a more important issue than war, or
>terrorism, or the economy… Who’d have thought the election would
>belong to them? Well, Karl Rove did. Gotta give it up to him for
that.
>
>
>
>I concede that I put too much faith in America’s youth. With 8 out of
>10 of you opposing the President, with your friends and classmates
dying
>daily in a war you disapprove of, with your future being mortgaged to
>pay for rich old peoples’ tax breaks, you somehow managed to sit on
your
>asses and watch the Cartoon Network while aging homophobic hillbillies
>carried the day. You voted with the exact same anemic percentage* that
>you did in 2000. You suck. Seriously, y’do.
>
>Thank you. Thank you very much.
>
>
>
>*[editor’s note: OK, that’s not really fair – I’ve read a bunch on this
>since the election and while the % of the youth vote did stay the same,
>that’s because voter turnout in general was up… so more young people
>voted, but so did more of everyone else]
>
>
>
>There are some who would say that I sound bitter, that now is the time
>for healing, to bring the nation together. Let me tell you a little
>story. Last night, I watched the returns come in with some friends
here
>in Los Angeles. As the night progressed, people began to talk
>half-seriously about secession, a red state / blue state split.
>
>
>
>The reasoning was this: We in blue states produce the vast majority of
>the wealth in this country and pay the most taxes, and you in the red
>states receive the majority of the money from those taxes while
>complaining about ’em.
>
>
>
>We in the blue states are the only ones who’ve been attacked by foreign
>terrorists, yet you in the red states are gung ho to fight a war in our
>name.
>
>
>
>We in the blue states produce the entertainment that you consume so
>greedily each day, while you in the red states show open disdain for us
>and our values. Blue state civilians are the actual victims and
targets
>of the war on terror, while red state civilians are the ones standing
>behind us and yelling "Oh, yeah!? Bring it on!"
>
>
>
>More than 40% of you Bush voters still believe that Saddam Hussein had
>something to do with 9/11. I’m impressed by that, truly I am. Your
>sons and daughters who might die in this war know it’s not true, the
>people in the urban centers where al Qaeda wants to attack know it’s
not
>true, but those of you who are at practically no risk believe this easy
>lie because you can. As part of my concession speech, let me say that
I
>really envy that luxury. I concede that.
>
>
>
>Healing? We, the people at risk from terrorists, the people who
>subsidize you, the people who speak in glowing and respectful terms
>about the heartland of America while that heartland insults and
>excoriates us… we wanted some healing. We spoke loud and clear.
>
>
>
>And you refused to give it to us, largely because of your high moral
>values. You knew better: America doesn’t need its allies, doesn’t need
>to share the burden, doesn’t need to unite the world, doesn’t need to
>provide for its future. Hell no. Not when it’s got a human shield of
>pointy-headed, atheistic, unconfrontational breadwinners who are
willing
>to pay the bills and play nice in the vain hope of winning a vote that
>we can never have. Because we’re "morally inferior" I suppose, we are
>supposed to respect your values while you insult ours. And the big
joke
>here is that for 20 years, we’ve done just that.
>
>
>
>It’s not a ha-ha funny joke, I realize, but it’s a joke all the same.
>
>
>
>I make this pledge to you today: THIS time, next time, there will be
no
>pandering. This time we will run with all the open and joking contempt
>for our opponents that our President demonstrated towards the cradle of
>liberty, the Ivy League intellectuals, the "media elite" and the
>"white-wine sippers. This time we will not pretend that the simple
folk
>of America know just as much as the people who devote their lives to
>serving and studying the nation and the world. They don’t.
>
>
>
>So that’s why I’m asking for your vote in 2008, America. I’m talking
to
>you, you ignorant, slack-jawed yokels, you bible-thumping, inbred
>drones, you redneck, racist, chest-thumping, perennially duped
>grade-school grads… because we know better, and we truly believe that
>we can help your smug, sorry asses. Thank you, and may God, if he does
>in fact exist, bless each and every one of you."