Moving

I can’t stand this kind of constant, low grade stress I’m suffering from this pending move.  I’m not sleeping well, which makes the days sorely trying.  On some level I believe that I’m making mountains out of molehills out of the potential problems we could have with this move.  What if our house doesn’t sell and we end up paying a double mortgage until Christmas?  What if the septic inspection fails?  What if we don’t have as big of a down payment as we had hoped?  None of these potential problems are very realistic.  Even if they are real problems, they’re not insurmountable.  Rationally I know this but the stress hormones course through my body anyway.

Part of my sleeplessness problem yesterday at least came from drinking a Pepsi with lunch.  Normally I do not drink any caffeine so even something as innocuous as a cola makes me feel wired.  I know better under less trying circumstances but to ignore my sensitivities when I’m stressed is downright dumb.  If I’m going to indulge, I need to be smarter about it — chocolate, french fries, cookies are much better choices for me.

Even though I didn’t sleep last night, I still woke up at 6:00 a.m. as usual.   Exhausted and still carrying that stressed feeling in my belly.  I skipped my usual Saturday morning riding lesson because emotionally I couldn’t handle the challenge, even though Clipper has been such a good boy for quite a while now.  Since going back to bed was out of the question, I did what I do best to conquer stress: manual labor.  I started packing in earnest.  When I ran out of packing tape, I attempted a short nap.  After 40 minutes of dozing I went to Wahlgreens and bought 2 rolls of packing tape then indulged in a McDonald’s lunch, sans cola.  Armed with packing tape I managed to clean out one closet, empty, pack, and dismantle two bookshelves.  I can tell I’m tired because I didn’t feel like moving the last two boxes of books to where the other boxes are.  I have twenty boxes packed so far.  Three more bookshelves to go but first I have to get more book boxes.  And someone is coming to look at our house in an hour.  I hope they buy it.

The reason I didn’t post yesterday about the outcome of Dave’s interview is because we don’t know yet.  The office manager said he’d call Dave yesterday, which he did but Dave was meeting with our lender at the time so had his cell phone off.  The OM called back when Dave was on the plane, hence the cell phone was off again.  Dave tried again when he deplaned but it was after 5:00 p.m. by then.  Undoubtedly we’ll know something on Monday.  That’s part of the reason I’m so stressed — I had hoped that at least the question of Dave’s employment would be resolved by now.  Time to take a chill pill.  Or do more manual labor.  There’s plenty of that to do.