Today I’m borrowing a prompt that was borrowed from someone else: What Matters.
Sometimes when life goes to fast and gets confusing an exercise in remembering what matters can straighten out the path a little. Here’s what matters to me and not necessarily in order of priority:
Obviously, if you’ve been paying attention, horses matter a lot to me. It’s difficult to pin point exactly why. They just do. I loved horses even before I had a chance to ride one. All I ever wanted to do was ride a nice horse and have fun. I can’t remember the first time I ever rode one, possibly in second grade. A friend had a pony. I rode, fell off, got back on, fell off, etc. But it was some of the most fun I’d ever had. After that I chose my friends based on whether they had horses because my parents weren’t going to buy me one. One dear friend had two horses, two Appaloosa mares that I’ve mentioned before. We rode together a lot. In high school things changed, I started hanging out with different people and so did she but my love for horses never went away. I finally bought my own horses when I was 20. After a few years, life got hard, got in the way and I sold them, thinking I’d finally grown out of them. I’ve told this story more than once before. Twelve years later I decided to start riding again. After another year, I’m horse shopping again.
On Sunday when my trainer told me that she didn’t think Simon was the right horse for me, my heart nearly broke. I had already gotten attached to him and he has a lot of positive qualities. But I had to go back and figure out what mattered. Did it matter that I just liked the horse? Of course. Does it matter that we probably wouldn’t be able to show together for a while because he’s too green and I’m too green and that’s not a good show combination? That’s not as crystal clear to me. Does it matter that he’d be a long term project? Yes, and that’s fine.
Work matters. I have to work to pay the house payment, buy groceries, ride horses. At this point I really don’t know what I want to do for work. I’d love to work with horses but I’m not qualified for much. I volunteer at a therapeutic riding place, which gives me some horsemanship skills and a lot of satisfaction. I’m not sure I aspire to become a therapeutic riding instructor or not. I have some doubt, although I can’t put my finger on it. It’s a good exercise for me to wait until my doubt becomes more clear because I have a tendency to jump into things with both feet then spend a lot of time and energy trying to get back out and wondering where I went wrong. Sometimes I think I want to work just so I can afford a pleasant lifestyle that involves horses, property, a garden, and a few fruit trees. Other times I think I want to work in a field that is very rewarding to me. What that is has not been revealed to me yet. If it has, I obviously haven’t been paying attention and missed the boat.
Friends and family matter. It would be awfully lonely without them. I need them. This is one of my most clear values. I don’t even have to say much about it.
Health matters. I’m still young and nothing has gone terribly wrong yet. I’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible because I enjoy activities that require some physical ability. I want to enjoy these activities long into old age.
Spirituality matters. I’m paying more attention to spirituality than ever before. It matters that I have a relationship with God/Spirit/Universe/Inner Wisdom/Godde. This is a value I can’t explain and don’t feel like I need to (like with other things I’ve mentioned). It just is.
Education matters. Books matter. Taking care of the Environment matters. My list could go on; I need to explore these other things another day.
Time for an update, please! 🙂